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Judge Says Nizzle-Shizzling Not an Offense

LONDON (Reuters) – A judge has ruled that the lyrics of a rap record urging the listener to “shizzle my nizzle” and referring to a “mish mish man” did not constitute an offense.

Presiding in the case of UK rap artist Andrew Alcee against the Heartless Crew, High Court Judge Lewison ruled that not only were the lyrics not necessarily offensive but that they may as well have been in a foreign language.

Alcee is claiming that a remix by Heartless Crew of the Ant’ill Mob’s 2001 garage hit “Burnin” constituted “derogatory treatment” of his copyright because the lyrics contained references to violence and drugs. “This led to the faintly surreal experience of three gentlemen in horsehair wigs examining the meaning of such phrases as “mish mish man” and “shizzle my nizzle,” the judge said.

Dismissing the claim, he added that despite extensive surfing of the Internet in search of illumination, he had been unable to establish whether the words complained of in the rap were actually references to violence and drugs.

This is the greatest news story of all time.

(found via the “Durst Watch” column on donewaiting.com)

TiVo Compiles, Sells Users’ Viewing Data

Digital video recorder maker TiVo hopes to make a buck out of its customers’ viewing habits, by selling the data it collects to broadcasters and advertisers.

TiVo will sell second-by-second audience viewing data and a quarterly Commercial Viewing Report that will tell when TiVo users skip advertisements, the company has announced.

Information for the detailed analysis is derived from data collected when TiVo boxes make their daily call to retrieve programming information, the company said. The data is anonymous and is compiled to provide statistics about activity by many users, according to TiVo.

Great. Thanks to our TiVo, we’ll see an increase in cheap Japanese cartoons about hamsters, imported British flea market shows, and hammily-acted scifi shows. Just what the world needs.