Paul Farhi in the Washington Post, Friday, May 9
Now that his divorce from Abe Pollin and the Wizards is final, Michael Jordan has some time on his hands. Paul Farhi of the Post offers Mike some career guidance as he ponders his next move.
- Leverage recent experience working for arrogant, obstinate team owner: See if Dan Snyder is hiring.
- Start new airline — Air Jordan, of course — that flies only where it wants to, when it wants to, and mostly to Chicago.
- President, Baseball Operations, Washington Baseball Club (revenge is sweet).
- Buy naming rights to MCI Center. Rename it “The Jordanaire.” Or maybe “Abe’s House of Losers.”
- Take over management of another outfit that hasn’t had a winning season in years: the Democratic Party.
- Interim president, Iraq.
- Autograph self. Put up for auction on eBay.
- Spend days brooding, spend nights sulking. When this gets old, switch.
- Lend name to a line of overhyped, overpriced sneakers made by exploited laborers in Third World countries (Oh, wait. Never mind.)
- Spokesman for Claritin (for treating allergies to Pollin).
- Build a time machine and travel back to 1996, when you really ruled.
- Take GM job with Bob Johnson’s new franchise in Charlotte. When team plays Wizards, come out of retirement, drop 73 points. Just for spite.
